


Radical Candor

by theremin



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22496713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theremin/pseuds/theremin
Summary: A transcript of the episode Chief Operating Officer from memory
Relationships: Ben Burkhardt/Richard Hendricks, Jared Dunn/Richard Hendricks
Comments: 50
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

The thing they don't tell you about running a startup, is just how many shitty days you're going to have. If you're lucky the highs will be high, and you get to spend all day doing something you love with people you like, but you should still count on a pretty healthy percentage of really unbelievably shitty days. On this particular day Richard Hendricks felt a little awed by just how imaginatively the universe set out to fuck him, personally. 

"Jian-Yang, will you at least just let me come in and pack up my fucking stuff!!"

"No. You are being evicted. I need to send you a strong message," Jian-Yang said, before sending a stack of Richard's paperbacks flying out the window.

"Jian-Yang, could you at least throw us Richard's luggage? So we can be out of your hair as soon as possible?" Jared said. Jian-Yang looked like he considered it, then tossed out a suitcase and a backpack, and Jared and Richard started collecting all the stuff scattered on the lawn in them. 

"That is all," Jian-Yang told them from out the window, before shutting it close.

"No- no it's fucking not- hey, what about my Switch? Jian-Yang!"

Jared put a hand on Richard's shoulder. "Let's give him some time to cool off."

"Cool off? Cool off? He- uh- can you drive me to Ron LaFlamme's office, he can't do this, can he?"

So they packed Richard's meager belongings into Jared's Prius and went off for a wholly unproductive meeting with the Pied Piper lawyer. Walking back to the parking lot they ran into Dana, a friend of Jared's, who invited them to a party at his house the following night. Richard hated parties, and he wasn't exactly enamored with this Dana dude either. The day just kept getting shitter, and he didn't even know where he was going to spend the night. 

Picking up on his mood, Jared gave him a smile, leaned down a little. "Hey buddy, why don't we go get smoothies. On me."

So Richard had a strawberry smoothie and it was really good. He felt better, regained some perspective. Ron LaFlamme had been right, it didn't really matter whether it was Jian-Yang or Erlich who owned the 10% of Pied Piper. Getting evicted sucked, but maybe it was the kick in the ass he needed to actually get his own apartment. Richard could be innovative and agile in front of a computer, but when it came to the particulars of his own life, he could be... sluggish. He didn't like change much. A lot of his wardrobe was almost ten years old. He'd had the same bank since he was 13, and the main reason why he didn't get a new doctor or lawyer or whatever even if he personally disliked them was that he absolutely subscribed to the "better the devil you know" theory. But yeah, he was a CEO of an incredibly promising startup and had a good valuation, he should be able to get his own place and not sleep on a fucking bunk with a bunch of other dweebs. Even in the insanely priced San Francisco market.

"Where are you staying tonight?" Jared asked, nursing his vegan pineapple and banana smoothie.

"I don't know," Richard sighed. "guess I'll call Big Head."

Jared suddenly looked shy. "You know... I have a sofa bed," he said. "I would be honored to host you!"

Richard looked up at him, smiled. "Yeah? Thanks, dude."

Jared beamed. "Oh! My pleasure!"

*

Jared was having a great day. While witnessing Richard be thrown out of his home of several years had been distressing, it had kind of gone from peak to peak after that. He had thought about setting up Richard and Dana on a little CEO blind date for ages, and then they'd had the stupid luck to just run into him! And stand up guy that he was, he'd invited them both to his house! Richard and Dana were just spookily alike, he was sure they'd be bosom buddies in no time. He tried to be there for Richard in any way he could but he recognized his limitations. He wanted Richard to have a peer he could talk to, CEO to CEO. And who better than someone as innovative, independent and just plain old fashioned fun as Dana? And then, and then - Richard graciously agreed to sleep in his condo! He wished he'd known, but he'd done a deep clean the previous weekend so the place wasn't too shabby. And while being able to plan a boy's night in would have been ideal, it wasn't like he hadn't fantasized about this exact scenario enough times he had plenty of ideas. He wondered how long Richard would need somewhere to stay? Days? Maybe- he grabbed his collar, which suddenly felt too tight- weeks? Better safe than sorry. As soon as he had the time he’d go stock up on fun crafting supplies and another few boxes of Richard's favourite teas and snacks.

“What do you feel like doing?” Jared asked, excited, after he’d locked them in, took Richard’s suitcase and carried it into his bedroom. “We can do anything!”

“I don’t know, get some food, watch a movie?”

“Sure you don’t want to play a game or something?”

“Yes,” Richard grumbled.

“Well, we have plenty of time,” Jared said cheerfully. “oh, I know, we could cook together!”

“Let’s just- let’s just- get some takeaway.”

“Ooh, naughty,” Jared said, faux-scandalized. “on a Thursday!”

A few hours later they were both on Jared’s sofa, Richard in his jeans and T-shirt, Jared changed into his sleepwear – pajama pants and a soft, long white T-shirt - blankets over their knees. Stacks of mostly empty takeaway boxes were on Jared’s low coffee table and he’d lit lots of tealights. They were watching movies off one of Richard’s hard drives, they’d just finished a little indie horror. Jared didn’t like horror movies much but he’d spontaneously pushed his face into Richard’s shoulder during the first really gross part and Richard had just laughed so apparently… that was allowed, so he’d kept doing it. Unfortunately the movie wasn’t too gross or scary but maybe they could binge all the Saw movies next.

“Oh gosh, it was so romantic,” Jared said as the credits started rolling. “even if she was a lovecraftian monster!”

“You liked it?” Richard sounded pleased.

“Oh, yes!”

“Well, if you like romance, I uh, well uh, here’s one of my all time favorites.” Richard flipped through the files until he found the one he wanted.

“Harold and Maude,” Jared read off the screen. “oh, how exciting!” He wrapped up a little tighter in his blanket and sat a little closer to Richard. 

What an absolutely perfect day.

* * *

Dana’s party was, as Richard knew it would be, awful. He didn’t know anyone, Jared kept trying to get him and Dana together to talk, and even having worked in tech for like, eight years now, Richard could safely say Dana was in the top ten of the most boring, inane and socially incompetent people he had ever met. Hell, maybe even top three. The way Jared insisted they were basically the same person was just- like, Richard knew he maybe wasn’t the most, uh, effusive social butterfly, but he knew how to string two words together and like at least pretend he didn’t want to fucking die when making small talk with strangers. In fact, he’d worked like fuck on his social skills over the past few years and for Jared to say he was basically the same as this… this _lego_ was a fucking insult to his progress. 

He’d been momentarily rescued by Dana’s COO Ben Burkhardt, a strapping, handsome and clearly savvy-as-fuck dude who was actually really fun to talk to. Man, he wished he knew more people like that guy. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate his friends, he’d certainly had enough lonely stretches in his adolescence he didn’t take the fact he basically had a little crew now for granted, but the fact is they were all weirdo nerds like himself and well, hanging out with people like Ben, or uh, or like, Monica Hall, well it just made him feel… a little bit more normal, more grown up. Like they were normies, but they were cool too, and actually smart. Richard had this idea that if he could surround himself with people like that he’d magically become less of a loser too, they were kind of living examples you could actually be cool and smart and clued in but also like uh, real grownups. And Richard, though he may have turned thirty and was running his own business, did not really feel like a grownup. Especially not considering he was currently lost in Dana’s big as fuck house, having escaped another forced tête-à-tête by claiming to need the bathroom, wandered off to find it and then been unable to find his way back out to in the yard. He was in some long hallway with artwork on the walls and tried sending Jared a pin from inside the house. 

"Richard?"

"Oh hey, Ben!" Richard said, relieved. "I uh, I went to the bathroom and then I got lost, haha. Can uh, can you show me the way out?"

"Why don't you follow me," Ben said and Richard did, into a small lounge. Ben was clearly familiar, opened a cabinet which was stacked with bottles and poured two small liqueurs, before sitting down on the black leather sofa and holding one glass out. Richard felt a little sheepish, but sat down next to him and accepted.

"It's Tia Maria," Ben said. "I'm not a hard liquor kind of guy."

"Me neither," Richard said and Ben clinked his glass to Richard and Richard made a sound, kind of like a giggle, whatever it was he regretted it the moment it left his body. But Ben just smiled. The coffee flavored liqueur was sweet and thick and nice.

"So, I finished that phone call to Dubai. And I just really enjoyed our conversation earlier, and I wanted to continue it away from everybody else. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable."

"Oh, no. I hate parties," Richard said. "I'm uh, I'm better one on one, you know. Not uh a good mingler."

"I can tell," Ben said. "you like to talk about real stuff, not the weather. Big ideas, not small talk. Which is why you're a CEO."

"Oh. I guess you could say that," Richard said, flattered.

"You are fascinating, Richard Hendricks."

"Huhuhu. Uh. You uh. I mean. Um like, um uh." Richard wasn’t great at accepting compliments to do with anything besides his work, which he knew was good and he took most of his pride in. They kind of made his brain degrade. He never knew what to fucking say.

"And I hope I don't offend you by saying you're very attractive, too."

And the worst (and, thankfully, rarest) compliments of all, were the ones about his looks. "Um what? Haha. Uh. No. I mean. I'm not hahahaha offended and I'm not. Either."

"Well, I think you are."

"Oh," Richard said. His heart raced. His hand came up, almost involuntarily, to twist in his hair. "uh. Uh. You... too. Like... obviously." He flailed a hand out, to like, demonstrate, to an audience of absolutely no-one. Ben caught it, used a thumb to stroke a soft trail over it and every little hair Richard had on his hand stood on end, reaching for that touch. Richard gasped a little, looked at him. He didn't draw his hand back.

"This is crazy," Ben said. "but do you feel it too?"

"Uhh uhuh uh," Richard said.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Oh, fuck," Richard said. Then, weakly, higher than he would have liked, "uh huh. Yuh."

Ben smiled disarmingly and Richard closed his eyes and then Ben leaned in and his lips were thin and firm and insistent and it was all just really fucking hot and insane and Richard was about 99% sure he was dreaming.

"Ohh my god," Richard said when Ben drew back. Ben laughed a little.

"Wow."

"Yeah uh wow," Richard agreed, grinned. "wow!"

"I would really like to do that again."

Richard took a shaky breath, nodded, leaned in, and let one hand rest on one of Ben's big arms. That kiss was even better. Ben was a little more aggressive, caught Richard’s bottom lip, bit down gently, and when Richard gasped he sealed their mouths together, and his tongue was warm and tasted a little bit of Tia Maria liqueur. Richard’s head was spinning so bad he legitimately started to worry he’d throw up, and he held onto Ben’s arm for dear life. This kind of shit just- just did not happen to Richard Hendricks, not like this, not this good.

"Richard?"

Ben pulled away, crossed his legs. Richard jumped backwards to the other end of the sofa. "Uh, in here."

Jared emerged coming in from the hallway, Dana in tow, smiled. "Hey! I got your message! You got lost?"

"Uh yeah kinda haha, but uh, Ben uh..." he smiled a little. "Ben found me."

Ben got up. "Yeah, nice talking, Hendricks! Well, it's getting to be past my bedtime. I'll see you gentlemen." He disappeared out of the room and Richard looked after him. 

"What a sophisticated room," Jared said. "maybe the three of us should take a little nightcap?"

"Yeah," Dana said after a pause. "maybe." 

“Hey Dana, why don’t you tell Richard about how you’re a great believer in natural fabrics?”

If some tedious monosyllabic response came out of Dana’s mouth Richard didn’t pay attention to it. He took another sip of Tia Maria and savored the taste and smiled to himself and felt- man, he felt just, like, _tingly-_ all fucking over.


	2. Chapter 2

When Richard was in college, he’d fallen in with a group of fellow comp sci nerds who had a little video nasty movie club. They watched The House With Laughing Windows, Dolemite, Suspiria, Zombie Flesh Eaters, Cannibal! The Musical and Richard had been left with a lifetime love of weird cinema. One night, they’d watched Cruising, and while the gay 80s serial killer movie had mostly solicited groans and laughs from the rest of the group Richard had sat quietly watching while the foundations of the earth shifted. There were probably sadder ways of realizing you had a sexual interest in other men than watching footage from 80s New York leather clubs, but Richard couldn’t really think of any off hand. Still, he’d gone to his dorm that night, and with Big Head fast asleep in the other bed (he sighed and whined like a small dog when he slept, Richard had become familiar with the sound within days of rooming with him) he’d killed the audio on his laptop and done a bunch of searches in a private window and had a real existential crisis. Still, it wasn’t like he’d actually… acted on the realization. He generally wasn’t great at acting on getting close to other human beings. So for someone as handsome and suave and smart as Ben to just, show up like that, and _kiss him_ like that, man, Richard got a rush just thinking about it. It had been so exactly like some of his most secret and private fantasies it was honestly kind of embarrassing. 

Another thing that was kind of embarrassing was that Jared, for some godforsaken Jared-reason, insisted on taking the sofa bed for himself, abandoning his bedroom to Richard. It felt a little weird, sleeping in like, in Jared’s bed. It was a pretty big bed, which Richard liked. Not so much for himself, even though it was a hell of a lot nicer than what he was used to, but Jared could be really… self-effacing, like, you barely knew the dude was there most of the time. So it was just kind of nice he’d bought himself a big old bed to fit his tall frame. Jared was currently lying doubled up in the sofa bed out there, and when Richard had got the text message from Ben he’d just gone like “uh hey Jared”, momentarily wanting to share that information, and Jared had ripped off his sleeping mask and raised himself up on his elbows and stared eagerly at him like there weren’t enough good things in this world he could do for Richard Hendricks. Richard wished he would dial it back some times. He wasn’t sure there was a gracious way to receive all that kindness, and he had no idea how he was supposed to like, return it. Richard sighed, looked at the text message again. He’d replied to Ben’s suggestion of lunch with an _I’d love to!_ and a smiley emoji, even though Richard was neither an exclamation point or emoji kind of guy, text message wise. But this was just all so exciting. He felt like being a little less like himself, and more like someone bolder and braver and better. 

*

Richard had been so nervous his whole body was humming while he was waiting for Ben in the nice little restaurant (Ben’s suggestion, Richard had never even noticed the place, but of course it was great). His brain was throwing so many what-ifs at him he barely had time to stress out over one scenario before he came up with another one. But then Ben arrived, on time, greeted him with a big, warm hand on the back of his neck and held it there for a fraction of a second too long for it to be just friendly, and Richard instantly felt as giddy and excited as he’d done the night before. He looked fucking good, too, and Richard wished he’d made more of an effort. He’d obviously showered and shaved and even used some of the aftershave his mom had got him for Christmas that year, but he suddenly felt skinny and unremarkable in his grey jumper. Jared had been on his ass about trying to find some smart business casual looks for him, why hadn’t he just let him? And how long had it been since his last haircut?

“I think we should work together,” Ben said while they were waiting for their meals to arrive, and Richard smiled. He’d thought about that, too, obviously. Pied Piper was growing to a size where they needed a COO, and Ben would be an amazing fit, he respected the tech and what Richard was trying to do, he’d bring the experience and the savvy as well as be able to talk to the programmers in their own language. But even though Dana was a total downer he didn’t want to like, poach his employees like a dick, so it felt a little off. They needed to talk about how to go about it in a more professional way. And then who should turn up but Dana himself, and Ben had scurried out the back door, and Richard had been stuck with the Anti-Charisma for a tortuous lunch. 

Walking back to the office, relieved to be free of trying to make conversation with that dullard, Richard’s phone rang. He looked at it, and saw it was Ben.

“Um, hi!” Richard answered.

 _"Hey, Richard. I'm really sorry about how lunch today turned out,"_ Ben said.

"Yeah, me too," Richard said. "I uh. I'd been looking forward to it."

_"So had I. I want to spend more time with you."_

"Hehehe," Richard replied inanely, hugged himself with the arm that wasn’t occupied holding the phone to his face.

_"You free Tuesday night?"_

"Well uh, I am now," Richard said. Not that he actually had plans, but it seemed like a good line.

_"How about I pick you up at eight?"_

"Cool. Yep. Hehe. Uh. I'll um... actually, I'm kind of crashing with a friend right now, why don't we meet up at uh... outside that lunch place? And find somewhere?"

_"You know what I like to call that Richard?"_

"What?"

_"Inspiring Initiative. You really are a born leader."_

Richard giggled again.

* * *

“Uh, Jared, I’m ready.”

Richard stepped out of Jared’s bathroom, freshly showered, hair wet, in his T-shirt and boxers. Jared smiled, he’d already laid out the fresh gauze, tape and ointment on his coffee table. He put a blanket on the leather couch so it would be extra comfy to sit on. At first, Richard had insisted on changing his bandages himself, but it didn’t take long until he’d sheepishly asked for a little help just like, holding the stuff down, because it was a pain in the ass with just the one hand like, and it didn’t take long until he was content to just sit there and let Jared take care of all of it. Jared understood Richard’s pride but at the same time he was just – so honored to be able to help him heal, to be trusted with a task of this magnitude. Richard’s cuts were healing up nicely, they were little more than angry red lines on his skin now, and Jared almost felt a little sad he wouldn’t get to do this for him for much longer. He neatly cleaned the areas anyway. 

“You don’t have to be so thorough,” Richard said. “like, I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Any job worth doing is worth doing properly,” Jared said with a smile in his voice. “I don’t mind.”

Richard’s leg jiggled a little bit. "Uh, uh, Jared, if I tell you something, you uh will like... like, you can keep a secret, right?"

"I'm _very_ good at keeping secrets!" Jared said in an excited hush, leaning in a little. 

"So uh, yesterday uh, at the uh the party, well, um, you know, I was talking to Ben Burkhardt and uhh... well... he... kissed me." Richard smiled a little awkwardly.

Jared stopped his ministrations. "He assaulted you?!"

"No, Jesus," Richard said. "like, uh, it was uh, nice."

Jared frowned. "You... wanted him to?"

"Well I mean I uh I was surprised but uh like... yeah! I... guess. I mean. It was uh, like, good. I uh never I mean. No I mean, I have, obviously. But not. A guy. Before. But. I’ve wanted to."

"Oh," Jared said.

"Wow uhh okay well that’s the first time I ever told anyone." Richard pinked a little, grinned wide.

"I'm honored," Jared said, a little flatly.

"I mean, I never even thought it would like happen unless it was some gross random app thing, which, ugh, no thanks, but he like, he thinks I'm... hot." Richard said, a little awed. "Like, I can't believe a guy finds... me... hot."

Jared knitted his eyebrows together. "Is that so unbelievable, Richard? I'm a guy. I've told you before I find you handsome."

Richard smiled, shrugged. "Well, yeah, but that doesn't count."

"Why not?" Jared asked, frowning.

"Well because you're... you and I'm me and uh... like... you're kind of like my mom," Richard said, laughing a little nervously.

"Your mom?" Jared echoed, disbelievingly.

"Well, look at what we're doing right now," Richard said, nodding at where Jared was gently rubbing salve on his hand. "and I'm like... wearing a pair of socks you knitted me."

"You like them, don't you?"

“Yeah I-”

“They’re your favorite color.”

"Yeah of course I do, it’s not- like, when I got my school photo taken in like fourth grade I had like a little mullet and a retainer and I wore a T-shirt with a picture of Captain Janeway on it, and my mom told me I looked like George Clooney."

"Uh, there’s a pretty obvious resemblance," Jared said.

Richard laughed. "That's exactly what I'm talking about. You like... I don't know. Like, it's funny, it's nice, whatever, but Ben you know, he looks at me like he uh wants to like rip my clothes off, so uh it's different."

"That doesn't sound very respectful," Jared muttered. 

"Nope," Richard said a little smugly. He bit his lip. "he asked me out."

Jared cleared his throat. "Well, I'm obviously thrilled for you that you are exploring your sexuality Richard, but are you sure you want to jeopardize your beautiful friendship with Dana by dating his COO? It could look weird, especially considering Pied Piper doesn’t have one. If it’s a date you want, you know you could have the pick of Palo Alto."

"I am a hundred percent fine with jeopardizing my friendship with Dana. I said yes. But uh, Jared, like, I'm a mess. I- shit, I haven’t been on a date in… a long time. I just want to like, make a good impression. I don't know what to wear, I don't know what to- do you think maybe you could help me out? Huh? Give me some pointers? Guy-who-fucks?"

Jared didn't answer, he neatly taped the last bandage in place, smoothed it down. "There, all done."

"Thanks," Richard said, cleared his throat. "I feel like I made you uncomfortable with all this. I'm sorry. I thought-"

"No," Jared said. "of course not. Can I ask you something?"

"Uh, sure."

"Are you in love?"

"What? Uh? With Ben? No? I mean, I don't really know the guy. But I mean. He's nice, he's handsome, we have shit in common, I uh, I wanna see him again." 

Jared nodded. "We can go clothes shopping in the morning, if you like."

Richard grinned, then leaned in for a quick, quick hug, over almost before Jared had had a chance to register what was happening. "Thank you. You're a good friend Jared."

Jared smiled a little wanly. Previous partners had pointed out his nurturing tendencies as being maybe a little overwhelming, so it wasn’t like he wasn’t aware he was doing it, but that was the first time someone he had feelings for had referred to him as their _mom._ He’d come to terms with the fact Richard, wholly unresponsive to his timid advances, was straight a long time ago and was happy to simply have a close and wonderful friendship with him and had told himself he was not allowed to feel jealousy the day a woman worthy of Richard’s affection showed up, but all this time he was just waiting for some jerk to stick his tongue down his throat? Jared had spent five years packing him lunches and knitting him socks and chasing away threatening crows to lose his seat to some guy whose head was literally a square? He got up from the sofa abruptly and hoped the calming effect promised by the Pukka chamomile and fennel tea blend he’d bought the other day wasn’t just marketing.


	3. Chapter 3

“I look like a pirate,” Richard said and Jared laughed. 

“I suppose it’s a little blousey,” Jared said, looking at Richard in the voluminous white shirt. 

“Find me an eye patch, maybe I can make it work.”

Jared grinned, handed him a dark blue silk shirt. “Here, try this.”

He smiled a little to himself, waiting for Richard outside the changing room. Richard stepped outside and looked a little smug, and with good reason. The shirt fit very well, made his shoulders look a little broader, hugged his willowy waist, the fabric looked expensive and the color looked amazing with his eyes. “Oh,” Jared said. “gosh. You look… oh, you look wonderful.”

“Yeah? Decent?”

“Oh yes. Oh, goodness me, Richard!”

They spent three hours shopping and Richard ended up with the blue silk shirt, a gray day suit, a stripy cotton shirt, a very light pink linen shirt, a black blazer, black slacks and even some new underwear and a kicky stripy T-shirt. He’d spent more money on clothes in one morning than he’d had in the last five years combined.

“This has been so fun!” Jared thrilled. “It’s just like the shopping spree scene in Pretty Woman!”

“Uh, yeah, okay,” Richard said. “let’s uh, coffee or something, I’m hungry.”

They crowded into the first coffee shop they could find with their shopping bags and Jared went over to order while Richard found a table. In a few moments, Jared came back with an oat milk cappuccino for himself and a black coffee for Richard, and two pieces of chocolate cake. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, you uh know what I like haha.”

Jared smiled. “So, do you feel more confident now you have the outfit?”

“Yeah, I guess, kind of uh.” Richard scratched his arms. “It’s just, it’s just been a while, since I went on any kind of date.” He frowned. “I mean, kind of by choice and kind of not. After the whole, Winnie fiasco, I kind of thought, fuck it, if it happens it happens. And of course it didn’t happen, because that’s not my fucking life, it’s never been my fucking life. And now it’s happening I feel ugh.” He took a deep breath. “Time passes by so fucking quick, Jesus.”

Jared looked thoughtful. “Would you like to practice a little?”

“Huh?”

“Well, let’s pretend this is a bijou little Italian eaterie instead of a mediocre Starbucks branch, and you can pretend I’m Big Ben.”

Richard laughed. “Come on.”

“This coffee sucks,” Jared said in a raspy voice. “that’s a little something I like to call radical candor.”

“Stop it,” Richard smiled. Jared grinned. “Okay, okay,” Richard said. “uhhh.” He leaned forward a little on his elbows, looked up at Jared and smiled. “I think this is the nicest Italian restaurant I’ve ever been in.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Jared said, not missing a beat. “so where are you from?”

“Uh, I’m from Tulsa, originally,” Richard said.

“Oh, wheat fields and blue skies!”

“Yeah haha. Couldn't get away soon enough.”

“… Are you going to ask me about me?”

“Fuck! Fuck. Uh, where are you from?”

“Probably somewhere really Mormon,” Jared said. Richard shot him a look. “sorry, sorry.”

“Soo… I’m really glad you asked me out uh. It’s been a while.”

“You could make that statement a little less vulnerable,” Jared said. “say it’s been a while since you met somebody you were excited about? That’s true too and it compliments him.”

Richard’s head flopped into his arms and he groaned. “I hate myself. I should just cancel. I’m going to fuck up unless you feed me lines through like a bluetooth headset.”

“No,” Jared said. He cleared his throat. “you’ve been fine so far, haven’t you?”

“We haven’t talked that much, and it’s mostly been about work,” Richard sighed. 

“So what is it you like about this guy?” Jared asked, forking his chocolate cake.

Richard grinned. “I don’t know. He kind of you know, takes charge, knows his mind, he’s all kinds of, you know, sophisticated and mature and all that.”

“Old,” Jared remarked.

“Okay, Jared, what the fuck?”

“Sorry,” Jared said again. “I mean, there’s a little age gap.”

“Seriously? From you? Your best friend served in World War fucking Two.”

“She was a field nurse,” Jared said defensively. “she got the Purple Heart.”

“Whatever. I’m not looking to fucking marry the guy. I’d just like to have a good time. Make a human connection. Maybe like, get laid.” Richard sighed, scratched the back of his neck. “Like, normal people shit.”

“You can have anything you want, Richard,” Jared said.

“Ha,” Richard said. 

“You could! You’re young, you’re handsome, you’re going to be a billionaire. The world is your oyster.”

Richard sighed, looked depressed. Jared licked his lips, then reached out and cradled Richard’s hand, held him by the wrist thumbing at his pulse point. Richard looked down, frowned.

“Tell me about Pied Piper.”

“What? You know ab- oh. Oh, uh, okay. Well, um. I just. Think that a decentralized internet has so much potential. Everybody talks about making the world a better place, but I feel like this actually could. It would be a real alternative to what we have today, wherein like, Google, Facebook, all of that shit, is just insidious. Everybody treats them like they’re too big to fail and shit, but the truth is there isn’t a functional alternative today. I think they could shrink up if Pied Piper does what I want it to.”

“And what is that?”

“Give control of data back to consumers. Weed out all the fucking shitty ways the internet is abused and used from the fucking get go. And like…” Richard grinned. “like, it could actually be kind of punk. Have you heard about Guifi? This Spanish dude hacked a bunch of routers and turned them into nodes, gave internet access to thousands of people the Telecom giants wouldn't serve. I wanna do something like that but take it to the next level. Into the era of mobile computing. Internet everywhere, completely free of corporations, both protecting and respecting the users!”

“What about money?”

“I don’t give a fuck about money,” Richard said and Jared smiled. “I mean, obviously I want to like, have, enough of it, but I don’t care about being a billionaire. Or a millionaire. I think there are plenty of ethical ways to monetize. Maybe you won’t get to hoard all the money, but there should still be plenty to pay your employees decently and live well without a yacht with a swimming pool with another fucking yacht on it.”

“You’re very passionate.” Jared’s thumb was still rubbing little circles into his wrist and Richard swallowed. 

“Ummm I don’t know...” 

Jared let go of his wrist, smiled. “You’ll be fine if you get to talk about things you care about, Richard. You just light up when you do. And when someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you. Don’t put yourself down. If someone likes you enough to compliment you, they’re not interested in hearing that.”

Richard smiled a little. “Thank you.” He leaned forward a little, looked at Jared through his eyelashes. "So... what are you passionate about?"

"Crossfit," Jared said.

* * *

If one aspect of Richard Hendricks’ life was going reasonably well, you could count on another going to complete shit, and the next day Seppen served Pied Piper a 10 million dollar lawsuit for tampering with their smart fridges. Gilfoyle's solution to that clusterfuck was "ignore them" which... was easy to say when it wasn't his money on the line. Losing a lawsuit of that magnitude would make them go under, god, even just the thought of the lawyer's fees made Richard sweat. Richard locked himself in his office and called Ben.

"Hi is uh, is this a good time?" he asked.

 _"I'll call you back."_ Ben said and hung up. Five minutes later he did. _"What's up, Richard?"_

Richard explained the situation, all of it, as quickly and coherently as he could. _"Well, if this Gilfoyle guy was acting as a rogue agent, it's not your problem,"_ Ben said, reasonably.

"Throw Gilfoyle under the bus?" Richard asked, uncertainly, and Ben explained the concept of Ruinous Empathy to him. It made a lot of sense.

 _"This is the sort of thing I could help you out with as your COO,"_ Ben said. He sounded eager, convincing.

"Yeah. Um." Richard said.

_”I’m really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.”_

“Oh. Me too,” Richard said, smiled. 

_”I keep thinking about the other night.”_

“So do I,” Richard said. 

_"I'd love to show you my place some time."_

"Oh," Richard said.

_"And I'd love to see what else that pretty mouth can do."_

"Gulp," Richard said.

_"What's that?"_

"Uh great, I said great, I meant uhhh well uhh many things and uh I have many skills ha ha"

_"I bet. See you tomorrow, Richard."_

"See you," Richard said. Then he sat down on his office chair, held his head in his hands, and did that square breathing technique thing Jared had taught him in an attempt to get rid of the unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling of horny nausea.

*

The Seppen suit had everyone on edge, and Jared and Richard spent a long time with the legal department, looking at ways forward. Richard was even more stressed out by the end of that meeting.

"Maybe we should just trust Gilfoyle," Jared said. They'd finally gone home, stopped by a Thai place for food, and was currently eating it off their laps on Jared's sofa.

"Trust Gilfoyle? Even if he's right the legal battle is going to kneecap us."

"Maybe we can settle, like Ron suggested?"

"For what? Why should they settle? Seppen have been around for like sixty years, they're rich as fuck, they can eat startups like Pied Piper for breakfast. Even if we win they can appeal it until we have literally no money left." 

They were quiet for a while. "Actually," Richard said. "I called Ben and asked him for advice."

"Is that wise, Richard?" Jared asked. "I think you should separate your personal relationship with him from your professional life as neatly as possible."

"Umm." Richard drew with his finger on his knee. "We have been talking about maybe him becoming Pied Piper's COO. I think uh we're ready for someone to fill that role, and Ben would be a great fit."

"Oh, Richard, no," Jared said.

"I get you don't like him but I-"

"It's not that," Jared said defensively. "what about Dana? Are you really going to do something like that to a pal like him?"

Richard rolled his eyes. "Anyway, what Ben proposed to do, was, let Gilfoyle take the fall."

"What?"

"Well, he did that shit in his spare time, not on company hours."

"Richard, we're talking criminal charges. We're talking deportation."

Richard got a weaselly look on his face. "I mean, like... just to Canada. Canada is nice. It's like the one thing they're known for."

"Is that really how you want to run your business?" Jared asked. "I thought you wanted to be different. Gilfoyle is your friend."

"Gilfoyle is a dick and if Seppen assfucks us I won't have a business to run!" Richard said, frustrated.

"You still going to see Ben tomorrow?" Jared asked.

"Huh? Yeah, of course."

"Well, then I suggest you talk about how you're going to come clean to Dana, because what you two are doing right now sucks, Richard. A lot."

Richard bit his lip. "Okay, Jared. I promise." Jared nodded a little. "I'm nervous."

"Well, the Dana thing could get a little uncomfortable, but if you practice a little candor, radical or not, I think it-"

"No uh, not that. It's just something he said. About uh taking me to his place."

Jared went quiet for a moment. "You know you don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"Well, I do fucking want to, I just..."

Jared turned to look at him and smiled a little wanly. "Just go with the flow, Richard."

"Can I just, can I just try something?"

"...yes," Jared said.

Richard put his takeaway box away on the coffee table, then took Jared's and put that aside too. "Put um, put your arms around me."

"What?"

"I'm gonna uh, gonna try a move."

"A move??"

"Yeah uh - I just want your opinion. You don't mind, do you?"

Jared frowned. "Richard..."

"Okay, no, too weird, okay, I get it. Haha. Sorry."

Jared sighed and turned, carefully put long arms around Richard and drew him in a little. Richard put his arm on Jared’s and hooked his other arm around his neck.

"Like, are you uncomfortable?"

"Hmm? I'm fine, Richard."

"You look, like, sad. We don't have to-"

"I'm fine, Richard, show me your move."

"Okay, you're Ben, we're like, we're making out..."

"Mmhmm."

"And it's all good..." Richard turned and straddled Jared's legs. Jared gasped a little. Richard slid his hands to grab Jared's shoulders and leaned in a little and Jared's hands came up to hold Richard's waist, his face tilted up to stare at Richard. "and then I do that. What do you think?" Richard asked.

"Huh?"

"Is it too much?"

"What?" Jared looked utterly confused.

"I mean uh, this. I saw it in a movie. Is it only hot if you're twenty years old and good looking?"

"No uh it's uh effective," Jared said. "I'm uh."

Richard pulled away, slid out of Jared's grip. "Cool. Maybe I'll try it. Hehe."

"Excuse me," Jared said, got up, and disappeared into the bathroom. Richard grabbed his Pad Thai and shovelled the leftovers into his mouth, letting his attention fall back on the nature documentary playing.


	4. Chapter 4

Pied Piper was still in crisis mode the following day. Jared noted with relief Richard hadn't actually told Ron LaFlamme about the Gilfoyle thing. He seemed to be still mulling it over. But he was surprised Richard did not want to pull overtime and work on a solution to the Seppen suit (they only had out the week to formally reply), at five sharp he told Jared, "I'm going home, you coming?" and he'd just nodded and driven them both to the condo. So Richard spent some time tapping away at his Macbook, then disappeared into the bathroom for like an hour, then into Jared's bedroom. He finally emerged in the blue shirt, the gray suit, he looked... well, he looked expensive, bright-eyed, excited, young, desperately handsome. He must have even used some of that hair mousse Jared had bought him. Jared bit his lip.

"What do you think?" Richard asked. "Okay?"

Jared thought he looked like something out of a commercial for Italian perfume. About to step into his Alfa Romeo, then pick up Jennifer Lawrence wearing a Chanel LBD, heavy eyeliner and her hair in a tousled beehive, an old Mina song playing in the background. "You look nice."

Richard smiled. "Thanks. And uh. Thanks. In general. Like, I always thought this whole uh... thing... would be like my weird little secret until I died, and just... having you to talk to about it, and you've been so fucking nice and supportive, and now getting to go out with someone like Ben... honestly, to hell with Seppen. I haven't felt this good in a while."

"Oh, I really hope you have a nice time tonight, Richard," Jared said sincerely.

"I think I will." He grinned.

"Um, so where are you guys going?"

"Don't know," Richard said. "we're meeting outside Local Union 271 at eight, and we'll go from there. I bet he knows a ton of good places, I'm happy with whatever."

"Well, you better be off," Jared said.

"Yeah, uh. Don't wait up," Richard smiled a little shyly. Jared gave him a little wave as he disappeared out the door.

*

Richard got to the meeting spot a little early. His dread of being late had led to a lot of waiting in his life. He felt pretty good, actually – getting some pointers and practice in with Jared really had helped. He also felt about as attractive as he was physically capable of, and he wondered if it was his ego and imagination but he could swear he got some appreciative looks from passers by. At eight on the dot, a motorcycle stopped in front of him, revved, and the driver, in all black leather and with a black helmet, unstrapped a second helmet from the backseat and threw it at him. He barely managed to catch it.

"Uh what?" Richard said, confused. The driver jerked his head in a come-on motion. Now, Richard was not really the kind of person to just, get on some stranger's motorcycle and drive off, but it- it had to be a Ben thing, right? Not uh, some weirdo kidnapper with a penchant for skinny nerds in their thirties? Richard swallowed and decided to let caution to the wind. He put on the helmet, well, he tried to, the driver ended up helping him (slight guy, his height, definitely not Ben), then he got on the back and put his arms around the driver's waist and they sped up.

Richard felt a little queasy but the sensation was drowned out by how fucking exciting it was. He held on to the driver tight and watched the contrasts of Palo Alto fly by, the tech bros, the homeless, the nice old Victorian houses, the glossy tech campuses. He felt... weirdly young. He'd been too terrified of risks to ever do anything like this when he was a teenager. He wouldn't have known where to begin. The motorcycle took him all the way to a lakeside bistro. Richard felt a little dizzy stepping off, like the ground was still moving underneath him. Through the dark glass of the visor he could see someone tall walking confidently up to him and he grinned and unstrapped the helmet and pulled it off.

*

Earlier that same day, Jared elected not to eat in the campus canteen for lunch. He wanted some fresh air, and to treat himself to a Yankee Candle. That night he’d light a Bahama Breeze and open that tub of Frankie & Jo's Salty Caramel Ash ice cream and watch Steel Magnolias and hopefully not think about Richard being pawed at by that careerist bullshit artist. He was walking down the street feeling sorry for himself when he passed none other than Ben Burkhardt, walking alongside a leggy redhead in a tight dress. He had one arm around her waist. Ben saw Jared seeing him and Jared swallowed when he passed him and walked on for a few paces, then he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned.

"Hey, uh, Jared, right? Jared Dunn? We met at Dana's party."

"Yes, hello, Ben," Jared said a little stiffly.

"You work with Richard, right?"

"Yes."

"We have uh, a meeting scheduled later today, could you do me a solid and let him know I can't make it?"

Jared frowned. "He told me you were going on a date."

Ben's expression froze a little. "Ah. Well, I have been educating Richard on something I practice called Radical Candor, but he seems to have mistaken it for Calamitous Oversharing. Rookie mistake, really."

"So it was a date?"

Ben smiled an avuncular smile. "Look, I like Richard. I like his tech, I like his vision, I like his company. But..." he shot a look over at the redhead, who was scrolling through her phone, waiting for Ben. Her long hair tumbled down her back, her lips were Restylane full, her body the product of a strict workout regime. "you get it, don't you?"

"She's an attractive lady," Jared said awkwardly.

"Exactly. I knew you'd get it."

"Richard is really excited about tonight," Jared said. "it's a big deal to him."

"Don't worry, I'll call him later this week, make it right. Look, Jared, it's very likely you and me are going to work together in the very near future, and I think we're going to be good friends. So, as a friend, I'd really appreciate it if you just told Richard you saw me and I had to cancel last minute, which is the kind of candor I strive for, and that you don't mention Gabriela here, which is the kind of oversharing rookies do. Hey, one biz dev guy to another, right?"

"Right," Jared said. 

Ben grinned and slapped his shoulder. It hurt. "My man." He walked back over to Gabriela, put a big hand on the small of her back and shot Jared a parting wink before they walked down the street. Jared chewed a fingernail, tried to sort his feelings. He was mortified for Richard, he was angry at Ben's callousness and frankly mind-boggling ingratitude and messed up priorities, but there was a jeering little note of relief in there too. Which was incredibly unfair. It had been months, well, probably years since Richard had been excited about anyone at all, and no matter how jealous and petty Jared felt about it Richard really, really had deserved to go out tonight and have a nice time with the sophisticated, take-charge, radically candid man of his dreams. Jared pressed his lips tight together. And he thought, maybe just saying what you thought out loud wasn’t such a dumb idea after all.

*

"Hey," Jared said, smiling at Richard. He was standing tall, looked nice in a casual suit and – had he changed his hair? It was less... lego-y than usual.

"Juh? Jared? What um what are you uh"

"Thanks, Dana," he said, and the driver went "no problem" in Dana's weary monotone, gave a little nod and drove off. Richard's mouth fell open.

"What- what the fuck?" Richard blinked. "What the hell is going on?"

"I ran into Ben earlier today," Jared said. "he told me to tell you he couldn't make it."

Richard slumped downwards, lost a good two inches. "Oh. Oh, fuck. I knew it, I knew it was all too good to be true." He frowned. "What's with- couldn't you just have fucking told me?"

Jared cleared his throat. "Well, knowing you were free tonight, I thought I'd shoot my shot."

"What?"

"Go out with me instead."

Richard smiled sadly. "You uh, you don't have to do this, Jared. Like, I'm a grown man and it's not the first time I've been blown off and it certainly won't be the last. Let's just uh, get a Lyft and go home."

"No offense, Richard, but you're the one blowing me off right now," Jared said. "won't you even consider it?"

"Yeah but you're not- serious, are you? You're doing the thing."

"The mom thing?"

"Uhh. Yeah."

Jared was quiet for a little bit. "I don't like you as a mom, Richard. I like you as a guy. I'll admit I like looking after you and taking care of you because, well, um, my therapist has some theories but let's not get into all that right now." He scratched his head. "None of that negates the fact that I've wanted you since the first time I saw you."

"Whhhu. What?"

Jared shrugged. Then he stepped forward, and he was standing weird tall, not kind of apologetically slouched as usual, and Richard stared up at him. Jared touched his jaw with a thumb. "I'm just asking for a chance, Richard."

"Uhhhh," Richard said. Underneath his feet, the foundations of the earth moved. "okay?"

Jared had been oddly different throughout the whole exchange, more confident and firm than usual somehow, but at that weak and unsure "okay" he beamed at him in his unguarded, slightly maniacal way, baring all his teeth. Richard smiled back. Jared reached out a hand and Richard looked at it for a second before grabbing it and letting himself be led into the bistro.

The place was nice, had a view over the lake which was probably pretty impressive when it wasn't dark outside. It still gave a sense of quiet and space Richard liked. A waiter took them to the table Jared had booked and they ordered drinks and Richard felt weirdly on edge, even though it was... just Jared Dunn, there, on the other side of the table. But like, Jared except all suave and different and saying shit Richard found frankly discombobulating.

"You look,” Jared said. “like an Italian movie star from the sixties. Oh, _goodness."_

“Um, what?” Richard grinned inanely and his hand came up to twist in his hair.

*

Richard forgot all those smart things Jared told him to say. He stuttered and put himself down and got vulnerable and weird. But it didn’t really end up mattering, because it was Jared, and Jared didn’t care. When they walked out of a bar a few hours later, Richard walked over to a streetlight and stood underneath, leaning against the pole, hands linked behind him, illuminated handsomely in the dark, and Jared followed, and Richard said, “So uhh do you like wanna kiss me? Jared? Because uh I’d definitely be into-” and Richard generally hated being cut off, but when Jared leaned down and kissed him firmly, both hands on his face, before he could finish what he was saying, he found he didn’t mind at all.

*

Jared’s condo was only on the second floor, but Richard insisted they take the elevator, so they could kiss on the way up. Then Richard leaned against Jared’s front door and Jared leaned down to kiss him again, Richard’s arms loose around his neck, while he blindly fumbled for his key and locked them in. It took a few minutes but that was okay. Then Richard took Jared’s hand and pulled him towards the bedroom.

“You uh, Richard, you’re sure you’re ready for-”

“I’ve been ready since I saw Al Pacino trussed up like a Christmas turkey in a potential serial killer’s apartment in like 2006,” Richard said. “come on.”

In minutes Richard was on his knees on Jared’s bed, Jared behind him, nimbly unbuttoning Richard's nice shirt from behind and pulling it off. 

"Raise your arms up, Richard," Jared said. 

"Uh," Richard said, but did as told, and he gasped when Jared grabbed the end of his undershirt with both hands and pulled it off over his head, and tossed it to the floor. "uh- I- should- I- ahh!"

Jared had crouched down behind him to lick a firm stripe along the snake of Richard's spine, from the small of his back and all the way up to his neck. "Holy fuck," Richard said weakly. "uhhh!"

Jared brought both arms around him and brought them close, chest to back. Richard's arm fumbled backwards until it found the back of Jared's head and he pulled him closer, tilted his own face back and kissed him. The over-the-shoulder angle was too weird for it to get deep but damn it all if he wouldn't try. Jared kissed him back and Richard, a little experimentally, moved his hips backwards a little and brought his ass flush into contact with Jared's hard dick. Jared gasped a little and his hand skated hard down Richard’s chest to start fumbling with his flies and then Jared's phone started ringing.

"Ignore it, ignore it," Richard said.

"Yes um, yes of course," Jared said, a little distracted, then shook his head and pushed Richard down on his back, leaned over him to kiss him. Richard's hands made their way into his hair. The phone would not stop ringing. 

"Ignore it," Richard said again.

"I'll uh, I'll just go turn it off," Jared said. "throw the battery out the window." Richard laughed.

Jared walked over and looked at the phone. "It's- it's Jian-Yang? What could he want?" Richard groaned. "I should probably-"

"Dude, it's fucking Jian-Yang. He's probably just going to tell you you're a spooky tree and hang up. Come back here."

Jared smiled and rejected the call, made to put the phone down when it started ringing again. He made an apologetic face. "I'll just hear him out." On the bed, Richard covered his face with both hands. "Um, hello?"

 _"Jared. Come here now,"_ Jian-Yang said.

"Can, can it wait? I'm kind of-"

 _"You. Come here. Now,"_ Jian-Yang said. _"there is an emergency."_

"Oh," Jared said. Jian-Yang hung up. He turned to Richard. "um, Richard, apparently there's an emergency over at Erlich's... I mean, Jian-Yang's house. I should- I should probably go. But hey, uh, why don't you come with me?"

Richard sat up, frustrated. "No, I have no desire to see the fucking jerk who evicted me or help him out with his" Richard moved his fingers to make quotation marks "emergency."

"Richard-"

"No, it's fine, go, whatever."

Jared scratched the back of his neck, deliberated for a little bit. "I'll uh, I'll come back as soon as I can." Richard made a dismissive hand gesture, still sitting on the bed. Jared left the room and a minute later Richard could hear his front door close. He breathed out hard, flopped back down on his back. He was a little drunk and a lot wired. He heard a text message come in, probably another Jared-apology. He walked over to his jacket to look at it. It was from Ben.

_Really sorry about tonight._

Richard sighed. _Don't worry about it._

_Can I have another chance?_

Richard made a frustrated noise. _To blow me off?_

_I deserved that. But things really have been crazy. And I can't stop thinking about you._

Richard scowled at his phone. In spite of himself, he really did want to see Ben again. Just to like, see if it was all talk or not. Maybe there really had just been a lot of weird misunderstandings. Richard chewed his thumb. But now there was, there was like, Jared. And then there was the specter of Dana. That genuinely had to get resolved. He felt even less inclined to mess with the guy's business after he'd spent twenty minutes on the back of his fucking motorcycle. _We need to talk about Dana,_ he replied. 

Ben didn't answer for a few minutes. Then, _Can you come to my house? Now_

"Uh," Richard said out loud. It was like midnight. But then again. No time like the present.


	5. Chapter 5

Ben's house was in Los Altos and it was nice as hell. It was just like Richard had imagined but even more so. It really reflected the man – tasteful, modern, a little edgy, obviously rich as fuck. Richard hadn't felt like spending all that time trying to look good again or whatever, it was the middle of the fucking night, so he'd just pulled on a hoodie and jeans. Ben wasn't dressed up either but he still looked really nice. That was probably just what happened by itself if literally all your clothes were designer and your body was hot. They were walking up the staircase in his house, Richard was looking at the art on the walls, and at Ben's broad back.

"Thanks for coming over, Richard."

"Yeah. Of course."

"I really am so sorry about canceling so last minute, but your guy, Jared, let you know right?"

"Yeah, uh. He told me."

"That’s great. I'll make it up to you as soon as I can. Now. This is gonna be a little weird at first, but then it's gonna be good."

"What?" Richard said. He didn't like the sound of that at all.

He wasn't sure what sight to expect when stepping into Ben's lounge, but Dana, cross armed and accusatory, on one of Ben's designer armchairs, was not it. And when it turned out Ben had spent the last fifteen minutes feeding Dana some real bullshit about how Richard had relentlessly pursued him like some kind of HR stalker and how he'd finally given in and how everything was now, "words in the winds"? "Words in the winds"? That wasn't even a real fucking phrase! That literally didn't mean anything? He'd been sexually attracted to somebody who couldn't even use idioms properly?? What the fuck next – spoonerisms? Pig Latin? 

"Whew," Ben said after Dana stormed off. "well, glad to have that out of the way."

"Uh," Richard said, looking out the large windows at Dana racing down the street on his cool ass motorcycle. He'd been wrong about him. Jared was right. He _was_ a cool cowboy. Maybe they could have been friends. Maybe it would have been nice to know another CEO his own age, who was a little shy and nerdy and needed people to go out to lunch with, who was cool with driving him around on his motorcycle. That was definitely not happening now though. Ben walked up behind him, put large, blocky hands on his hips. Richard's skin crawled a little. How had he never noticed Ben kind of looked like a Minecraft dude?

"And now it's just you and me. Together at last, eh Richard?" Ben’s Minecraft hands slid around and forward to meet on Richard's stomach and started pulling him closer and Richard wriggled out of his grip, stepped away. Fucking… words in the winds. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, I uh, I look, it's late, I need to get back home. I'll uh, I'll call you."

"Richard-"

"I'll um, I will see, myself, out." He turned and rushed downstairs, ordering a Lyft while walking. Then he called Big Head, who answered on the second ring and asked if he could crash for the night. 

* * *

Richard had been worried Jared would be angry and weird when he slinked into work the next morning but instead he and Gilfoyle had been up all night working on a plan to save Pied Piper and Richard's dumb ass and it turned out he was just on time to see it come to fruition. The Seppen representatives left, the lawsuit was called off, and they had a lucrative new deal and the information Gavin Belson had instigated the suit in the first place. Jared, back to slouching almost down to Richard's level, looking very much like his regular self – skinny and nervous and sleep deprived – apologized profusely for turning their fortunes around without Richard's knowledge.

"Are you kidding me?" Richard asked. "Jared, you saved us. And you did it without having to fuck Gilfoyle over."

Jared looked relieved and grateful and starry-eyed and looking at him Richard felt all warm, all – well, kinda tingly. "Thanks," he said. Jared had a really fucking nice smile. Richard wasn’t sure how that blatant truth had passed him by before now, but he suddenly knew he needed to see it as often as possible. 

“Good morning Pied Piper!” a very confident voice rung out behind them, and Ben came marching in with a box of his things, sizing the office up. Richard felt both a little mortified and angry at the sight of him, explained he was not hired and would not be, and Ben called him underweight and gross which, well okay, he certainly hadn’t had a problem with that up until now, and Richard scowled after him and was glad he hadn’t given Ben “the move” when he felt Jared’s hand fan out on his back. He looked up at him over his shoulder, turned.

“Hey, Richard. I’m at least 45 lbs underweight. And don’t worry about him, we’re going to find you a much better COO.”

“I think we already have,” Richard said, crossed his arms a little smugly. “you want the job?”

He’d hoped Jared would smile again but instead he made a pre-waterworks face and slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Okay, let’s uh,” he grabbed Jared’s arm, led him towards the little office they used for one on one conversations and sensitive phone calls. 

“I’m okay,” Jared protested in a thin voice.

Richard closed the door behind them in the little office. Jared sat with his face in his hands, shoulders heaving. Richard sat down next to him, stroked his back. “You’re gonna be amazing,” he said. “you are amazing. Um. Should I like, get you some water, or…”

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Jared sobbed.

"Stop apologizing. Sorry for what?"

"Uh, crying."

"What? No- like, cry if you want, I just thought, uh, maybe not in the open plan, in front of everyone."

Jared wiped his face a little uselessly with his hand. "I know you like it better when uh, when I'm more uh," Jared made a weird face and a gesture.

"What?" Richard smiled.

"I don't know. More assertive and less... me."

"What are you talking about?" Richard said.

"Well... yesterday…"

Richard was quiet for a little bit. "It's not about..." Richard cleared his throat. "um, it's less that I like it better and more that I'm so fucking... hopeless that I literally would never assume someone likes me like that unless they say it out loud and clarify and use my given name. A written statement would also be good. And some character witnesses."

Jared bit his lip and turned his face to look at Richard with clear blue eyes. "Why did you leave? Why didn't you return my calls?"

Richard turned red. "Um uh. I uh. I needed to sort some things out. Like, I'll tell you all about it later. I spent the night at Big Head's. I uh. Just like, needed to talk to him. About everything."

"Did you tell him about us?"

"Uhh yeah. Sorry?"

Jared looked genuinely surprised. "No, it's fine, it's great, Richard. What did he say?"

Richard smiled. "He approves. He thinks you'd be good for me."

Jared made a noise and covered his face with his hands again. Richard sat a little closer, put one arm around Jared's waist and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"I think you'd be good for me, too."

Jared unpeeled his hands from his face and turned a little downwards and they kissed, and it was chaste and sweet and comforting, and the hand Jared was resting on Richard’s neck was damp with tears. Richard had a wild fluttery sensation inside his chest. And then Gilfoyle and Dinesh burst in. Richard shoved his chair away from Jared with a loud scratching noise, stared wildly up at them.

“Knocking? Uhh? Hu? Heard about knocking?”

"Okay," Gilfoyle said. "ignoring that unnerving shit completely, if Gavin Belson told Seppen to sue us, they didn't know I hacked their fridges – he did."

"What?" Richard said, confused. "Are you suggesting... that someone here is leaking info to Gavin Belson?"

"I am. We have a mole on our hands."

* * *

"After I got evicted," Richard said, putting his empty beer bottle on Jared's coffee table. They'd made dinner (well, Richard had cut up vegetables on Jared's instruction, he'd actually put the whole pasta dish together), Jared had lit another armada of tealights, and Nina Simone was playing on Jared's bluetooth speakers. "I thought about getting my own apartment."

"Oh," Jared said. "well, I could help you, go through the listings, make a list of suitable properties."

"Actually, I've been thinking, if it's cool with you, maybe I could put it off for a while."

"You mean-"

"Yeah. Hehe. Unless like. Too weird? Too much? Too soon?"

Jared beamed at him. "No! Stay for as long as you like, Richard!"

"Cool, thanks. One condition, though."

"What?"

"You don't sleep on the sofabed anymore."

"Oh, but Richard, I-- oh. Oh!" Jared grinned, and Richard grinned back. "Deal."


End file.
